Jan, Feb and March Update :D

January seems like at least 600 years ago. I like to start off the year with lovely goals and intentions of writing once a month on the blog to document little slices of life for when it inevitably becomes blurry and we want to remember this stuff. As usual, I promptly failed as each month has gone by, thereby lowering standards from the start. I think that’s a key component of parenthood – great goals and intentions with a solid dose of real life to keep us grounded and humble (you know, my child will Not Watch TV = my child will at least watch PBS when the baby naps?) Shockingly, my plan for consistent writing was foiled by three small humans, a couple house projects, teaching (read: grading, so much grading) two full classes, and then discovering a house that we wanted to buy. Who doesn’t want to add moving to that list??

In the spirit of actually accomplishing one of these monthly updates, here I am, and here’s what the Sheaffer clan has been up to these days:

Adalyn – Kindergarten rocks. Some days she comes home exhausted and moody, making me fear teenage years, but most days she happily hops off the bus, drops the backpack in the front hallway which Bria immediately empties to pillage for leftover snacks, while Addie gets right to enthusiastically instructing her on whatever favorite thing she learned that day. We love our reports of how the days go ….watching leaves decompose; scholar circles; the whole journey of triangle books to square books and now AR prizes; what Mr Claytor jokes about in violin; the dance Ms Sudac is teaching them; what she traded on the playground.  She loves mashed potatoes and spaghetti and meatballs day for lunch. She has everyone’s bus number and older sibling’s names/grades memorized. She thinks it’s “kind of weird but not good” when someone doesn’t tell the truth, and enjoys being a dinosaur or the occasional dragon on the playground. She takes after Granny and Sheaff and digs math and loves figuring out how much coin combinations add up to. At home, she just wants to draw, read, and direct us to projects. Bryce giggling when he sees her takes her out of any bad mood every time. Her fashion combinations are still hilarious and awesome. It is pretty amazing watching her jump from being almost resistant to reading a year ago to picking out the books she wants to work through each night for "Story Time." She also likes unloading the dishwasher all by herself, and therefore is my favorite human ever those days.  

Bria grows about an inch every day. She’s almost 7 feet tall; we can’t sneak her in as “under 3” to places anymore. She still loves school days, especially playing in the sandbox and being the line leader, as long as I am there by 11:50 sharp, after which she kind of crumbles and apparently is sure I’m never coming back. Don’t mind me sprinting through the parking lot to avoid the subsequent mama-heart-wrenching-guilt. Turns out, sometimes I’m the ‘suck-it-up’ parent, and sometimes I’m the total sucker. In this case, I’m a sucker.  At home, Bria could spend all day on puzzles, digging in the dirt (or mud. equal opportunity here), building blocks or marble towers, changing into pajamas (genetic), and painting – as long as she can get it all over her hands, arms, and preferably a few clean surfaces. The child loves being outside, in pouring rain, 35 degrees, you name it (otherwise known as February in Lynchburg).

She’s been doing regular speech therapy which also does a number on my mama heart. I think parents often take for granted how easily their kids can put sounds together – just as I would if we never had issues. For most, simple sounds like s, k, g, f at the front of words are a given, an unnoticed ability. For us, it’s a reason to celebrate and high five our kiddo, for whom sounds are just hard. Sometimes the progress is slow, but watching her sitting across from her speech therapists, working so hard on forming these words, trying and trying again, and staying positive and determined following their coaching, makes this mama heart proud. In the meantime, if you see Bria and she sounds a bit like a minion, just know she’s working pretty darn hard at getting those words down. J

Both girls have started getting a super huge allowance (lolz) for doing chores, which they thus far think is fun. We’re rolling with that attitude as long as we can. They did gymnastics and are signed up for a running program this Spring. We should probably also keep teaching them to swim through lessons, but sometimes it’s nice to have a break in the ‘activities’ action. I swear, when I was their age, I’m pretty sure we just climbed trees and did the occasional parks and rec program? There are SO MANY THINGS to sign up for these days. As a parent, I think this is awesome, tempting, overwhelming and a smidge unrealistic.  But that’s a blog for another day.

And then there’s Bryce. He’s 6 months today, and I can’t believe how fast the time is flying by with him. All the clichés.  Knowing he’s the last baby adds a different layer of emotion, makes me appreciate all the stages. Even the sleepless newborn time was easier knowing it was our last round of it. Baking to almost full term helped, as we had less premie-type issues. He has some solid pout-face moments when he’s tired or needs to poop, but overall, he’s a happy baby who loves to smile, loves to wiggle, and loves to plant very slobbery kisses all over our faces. Wallie has obviously been training him. The girls dote on him like a pair of old ladies in church. He’s playful, flaps like a bird when he sees his favorite people/things, and tries to eat everything (including a leaf today #oops #thirdbaby). Good thing we don’t have 7,000 shopkins around our house. OH WAIT…!   While he is the spitting image of David Sheaffer, he likes to talk himself to sleep, proving I had something to do with his DNA.

 Milestones like rolling over or the teeth popping through feel just as exciting the third time around. There are some things I just didn’t know if we’d get to use again with a baby – the boba wrap, folding cloth diapers, pulling out the bouncer to cook with two hands…I’ve felt very sentimental with these, enormous waves of gratitude for the little life that fills these objects.

Shockingly, just as I felt the need to process pregnancy after a loss, I’m sure the same will continually happen with a baby after loss. Because it's different, and you take very little for granted. I also still grieve for Abram. I still wish he was here. For me, it doesn’t feel like a “one or the other” mindset, ie we had to lose Abram to get Bryce. I know everything we’ve gone through, including losing Abram, has led us to where we are today, but that doesn’t stop me from imagining what life would have been like with all 4 of our babies in my arms. It doesn’t stop me from missing Abram, wishing we could see who he would have been. When we re-did our living room, I hung three frames in a row with Adalyn, Bria and Bryce’s baby picture in each. I tried to find a way to incorporate Abram into the set-up, but after a bit, decided to leave it as is, which was oddly emotional. I realized this was the first of many times I’ll have 3 photos or 3 pieces of art, etc, from our kids, and that I’ll probably always feel that hole, knowing there are 4 loves lined up in my heart. I’m not sure how to work through that yet, but for now, I’m just trying to name the feelings as they come. And you know, with me, there’s never a shortage of feelings.

Other adventures of the winter included but were not limited to: a trip to the Greenbrier for Sheaff’s work for which we thought it would be fun to bring the whole family (spoiler alert: it was a terrible idea); ice skating with the kids for the first time (couldn’t feel my back or legs for days after); New Years at the farm house; a little MLK Day kindness trash-pick up and kindness day; folding our clothes and thanking our throw-away objects as Marie Kondo taught us; a lovely 147 rounds of strep throat, pink eye, the flu, etc; playdates and visits from our favorite people; a couple violin concerts; the girls first happy meals ("Mom, have you heard of McDonalds?") and many trips to Turner to watch some basketball. We also recently happened upon a house at the end of a culdasac and a creek in the back that was calling our name, so in a few weeks will be moving a few minutes down the road. We are super excited for the new adventures, but I am already missing this wonderful house we’ve called home for 10 years.  Stay tuned for the next blog, processing said life change and emotions. :D In the meantime, two points for finishing a blog before April!