Dear Adalyn


 October 8, 2017

Dear Adalyn,

You are five today.

Five sounds so old to me, so legitimately a “kid,” so beyond-baby, poised at the edge of a chapter, ready to jump into the next phase of childhood. You keep growing, growing, growing, getting longer and leaner and smarter and stronger. You are becoming you.

Today, we celebrated you with orange rolls for breakfast, glitter tattoo art, lego building, LC romping, a rainbow carwash per your request, waffles for dinner, a Green Bay win complete with popcorn, and Tag You’re It. It was perfect, because it was You. Yesterday, you pranced around at one of our normal chaotic gatherings that you think is a normal birthday-party, your friends in “Addie-gear” of sparkles and costumes and creative fun; you were thrilled about life.  

I can’t believe you are five. You are still shy around strangers, but want to be friends with everyone in your class. You are funny and goofy and try to sneak armpit tickles daily to make us laugh. You are adventurous but cautious, looking out for the littler ones around you. You are creative, cutting paper and straws and ribbon to creating something at your “desk,” the shelf you and Pops made for your bunk bed. You let Bria join you sometimes when you’re busy creating; she copies everything you do.  You sing often in ‘shows’ we have to watch, falling in love with every musical you see from Hello Dolly to Sound of Music to White Christmas. You can pay attention now through chapter books. You love to doctor, love calling our names… “Carly Sheaffer? Bria Elizabeth-Rose? You’re next.” You love playing, directing, organizing at times, but mainly destroying neat spaces. You test boundaries, but you nurture. You learned to swim this summer; refusing to try at first until you realized it was possible. You write letters. You love helping Bria do things. You’ve (I think joyously) discovered telling on the little ones. Gracie follows you around constantly, and you love playing with John, retrieving baby toys for him to play with. You want to have people for dinner all the time. You love family hugs and ‘snuggle parties.’ You are patient, but stubborn. You are Wonder Woman, princess, Moana voyager, doctor, rockstar, baller, Dolly, fashionista. Your outfits draw comments everywhere we go.  You sparkle on.

You are an optimist. You want to hope for good. And you are so loving. You remember Abram often, healing our hearts these past months in ways you can’t understand at 5, but that matter so much. You point out his star every time in the sky; you water his tree; you ask about him; and some days, you simply say you miss him; others you smile and laugh imagining him, always with Grandma and Gladys in the sky.  You hold him in your small but powerful heart that already shows its sweet quiet strength. Every day, I see kindness and so much love within you, and it makes us so proud.

I’m writing this right when you were born. October 8, 2012, 10:24pm. Your hair was dark brown and you only weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces. You looked like a funny, squishy newborn. To us and your village, you were perfect. I could (and I will) tell the story of how you were born 1,000 times. It was the night we became parents. It was the night the world met you.

I still remember in the blurriness of those tired nights how tiny you looked in your dad’s arms, how small you felt, a newborn ball curled up on my shoulder, like you had always been there.  And still tonight, while you’ve grown so much, you were still small, laying on my shoulder reading in bed as I tried to soak in all you are right now.  I hope one day, when you are grown, when you are Wonder Woman with a life of your own, you still come to us and lay your head on my shoulder, and know this is where so much began, where we fell in love with your heart and the story of you that it yields.

I love you, sweet girl.

Love,

Mom






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