A New Title

I’m dreading it.”  I think that is the most common answer I hear from moms or dads who are about to return to work from their months of maternity or paternity leave. Their shoulders slump; they sigh loudly; their eyes anxiously dart to their little one, as though in that instant they can drink up every detail and every second that ticks by.  Having many friends who have returned back to work, we know the world will continue spinning; their baby will continue growing and thriving; they will continue to find their new balance and routine and everyone will be fine. I have pangs of sympathy, admiration, relief, a minuscule twinge of jealousy, and a bit of sadness to see a daytime friend move to their next chapter. But mainly, relief. To be home.  

It’s asked often, right after how does the baby sleep. “Have you gone back to work yet, Carly?” Part of me almost responds with the tiny, tiny voice of regret, who intermittently longs for color-coded planners and meetings, and my own desk with newsletters, calendars, to-do lists, agendas, blinking voicemail, folders and productivity. A huge part of me misses the hours in Carol’s office learning and laughing, and taking in the courage that swells through the cancer center on multi-colored ribbons of hope. 

The other part of me wants to answer that I have been working since about 1pm on October 8^th when I felt my first Real Contraction. And from what every parent who says “Oh just you wait…” when they see Adalyn, I gather that it’s not going to slow down any time soon.  

But I know what folks mean when they ask about work, and most answer with incredible support and enthusiasm when I say that Adalyn is my main gig these days.  However, saying that you are a “Stay at home mom” sometimes just sounds cushiony to many who have never done it, and I resent that.  I want to say I don’t just spend my day feeding the baby, changing diapers, running to playdates or to Kroger and doing ridiculous amounts of laundry, vacuuming, and gardening in between, but ….  Well, I even make an edible dinner sometimes. Oh yeah!!  Sheaff and I weren’t quite sure what to put as my title on our taxes, and I said Professional Domestic Goddess.  His choice was Bessie.

Coming from the world of a major hospital system where quality and outcomes and certain measures are reported on a regular basis, it’s a bit of an adjustment. How does one report on Domestic Goddess’s outcomes for the year? Efficiency is now measured by ease and success of naptime and meals. Finance trends became a budget of one-income, double fuel coupons and Kroger, and hoping with crossed fingers that we get a new pair of socks at Christmas. Quality initiatives now include teaching my kid not to snatch, putting down the phones and ipads to read a book to her, and according to Sheaff, “Keeping Sparkle off the Pole.” Safety means a life jacket within 9837 yards of any body of water, including large puddles (they don’t call him Safer Sheaffer for nothing!) and Continuing Education revolves around teaching Adalyn that cows moo, doggies say ‘woof,’ and Duke is better than UNC.

One of Centra’s “Critical Success Factors” is People. People.  That just about sums up what makes this world tick, regardless of what line of work you’re in. For us, it is everything. To measure your life in laughter and stories and new friends and family. To watch Adalyn wave hello to the person walking up our sidewalk with their arms wide open, wearing the ridiculous smile you get when a little one’s face is smushed against the door in a grin, waiting with her pup to welcome you in.

This is what goes through my head when someone asks if I am working. But the simple answer I suppose I’d say is, yes, I am working, very hard. And so far, it’s the best job I’ve ever had.