It All Started....

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Addie and Bria, 

We recently watched Inside Out. Turns out, it’s a pretty incredible movie, and really got us thinking about what we’re creating for our life – what moments coming rolling through as your core memories, what will be built on your islands of personality, how we can keep Joy at the helm in these younger years, how we can balance the gentle listening and there-ness of Sadness in teaching moments, etc.

As our first date was 8 years ago, I thought about how Sheaff became a part of me without my even realizing it. I thought of all the core memories that have rolled through in the last years that we’ll tell you about. The first time we held each of you, rubbing your swaddled tiny backs and saying hello in awed voices. Our wedding: the second those doors opened and we saw each other at the ends of the aisle. The time he surprised me to run in the rain (everyone knows a Sheaff melts in rain). Painting our bedroom mango in our new house at 10pm.  The Dave Matthews concert. Our dance parties in the kitchen.  Walking in the quiet of a midnight snow.  Singing 90’s songs on roadtrips. Building your swing set. Building a lot.  I could write and write and write about our joyful moments that have defined us.  And there are some memories wrapped in the blue of sadness, the red of anger, tinged with fear. One day, we’ll talk with you about those, too, when you are growing up and learning about how to process those elements of life. Because they are important as well.

But today, in sprit of Valentine’s Day, I hoped that you both would eventually want to know how your parents fell in love.  If you don't, I'll tell you anyway because our story is the beginning of yours. 

I will tell you this first: your dad was different. Being around him felt special, a quiet knowledge of being sure. I felt understood. I didn’t have to wonder how I felt or how he felt or play games. I never felt like I was less. I never doubted my core, or his, or then the world that became ours. There are at least one million reasons I love your dad, and you oughta know some of my favorites:

  • ·       His fierce loyalty
  • ·       His sense of humor and ability to laugh at himself
  • ·       Sheaff phrases. You will learn they are as priceless as too many chefs in the oven.
  • ·       The way he reads bedtime stories to you guys
  • ·       His work ethic, how much he cares about his clients and the quality of work he does
  • ·       Friendly chats with taxi drivers at 2am, man
  • ·       His love of food. Bacon. Sauces. Meats. Crabcakes. Never mind, I can’t start his food-love list; it will never end.
  • ·       He can build. He’s handy. He knows power tools. He loves house projects.
  • ·       When Grandma died, he brought me ice cream and cones. He knew exactly what to do. Later, he recovered her voicemail from my lost phone so I’d have her voice. In the pain and the raw moments of life, he is there.
  • ·       He knows so much about basketball.
  • ·       He is protective
  • ·       He’s got great legs. Hopefully you get his, not mine.
  • ·       His patient, patient research on any topic imaginable
  • ·       He’s okay getting his hands roughed up and dirty.
  • ·       When we picked Wallie. I thought we’d get one of the tiny furball puppies hurling themselves at us at the pound. Sheaff looked in the back corner, saw a 4 pound rat-like shivering tiny black pup and said, “That one. She needs some love.”
  • ·       He’s tall and handsome.
  • ·       We both laugh at the same things so hard we cry, and once we pull it together, we start over again like 12 year olds at a sleepover.
  • ·       He can drive a stick shift. This matters!
  • ·       He will always go in the water for his girls at the beach.
  • ·       His made up lyrics to Daddy Warbucks-Annie songs
  • ·        How much my family loves him
  • ·       How much our friends love him
  • ·       How much he cares for his People near and far 
  • ·        Safety Officer status
  • ·       His ability to stand up for what he believes in
  • ·       His ability to apologize. 
  • ·       He teaches you girls basketball one minute, and throws on a tutu for a teaparty the next
  • ·        His sock and sandal combo. His Dad sweat pants.
  • ·       He can dunk.
  • ·       His love of snuggling
  • ·       He is kind.
  • ·       I will never get tired of watching him be your Dad. The amount he loves you, with his whole heart, is my most favorite thing about him and always will be.



What I treasure about my other half is not necessarily what you will in your spouse one day. But I hope you have standards for him or her a mile high, and a list like this at least a mile long about them. Every time I sit back and think about how much I love in this world and how grateful I am, it all started with your Dad beside me, holding my hand and loving me. 




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