Plain Pine and New Years Eve

Writing coherent thoughts is always an interesting, and much procrastinated process. Thanksgiving was near, and I thought I would write about things we were grateful for-- a long, beautiful, cascading list of the big and little moments that make our days what they are, these years the best we’ve lived.  But November came and went mighty quickly, and I thought, well I’ll write about the magic of Christmas this year. Adalyn loving Santa, Bria trying [succeeding] regularly to eat wrapping paper while Adalyn “helped” wrap by placing scotch tape all over presents. Singing Frosty through dinner, Addie decorating the bottom branches of the tree with 500 ornaments, dressing up for the Christmas ball, reading red and green and snowflaked books every night, and attempting Christmas-tree-popsicle crafts that mainly resulted in a passion for –and carpet lining of – glitter. But December flew by faster than a sleigh powered by Buddy the Elf and Zoe Deschanel singing (the best way to spread Christmas cheer….).

And so my goal of writing mom-ish thoughts every month sputtered out, and here I am in January, the month of perpetually-willful-goal-making. In absolutely no particular order, my brainstorming session resulted in the following goals:

·      Use the word “Don’t” less. With a strong-willed 3 year old and her mobile sister sidekick who especially enjoys attempting gnawing everything from wires to Wallie’s tail, this is a lofty goal. But an important one. While patience requires much effort for me, I hope to make that effort often this year.

·      Go outside. Bring the kids to the top of a mountain, and build a castle with them on the beach. Swing and run and dig in the moments between.

·      Wear pants with buttons once a week. (eh, maybe).

·      Be mindful of friendships and family.

·      Watch Star Wars, I will.  Specifically, the original Star Wars trilogy first. While I grew up watching these as often as the rents would let us, I’m pretty sure my last viewing was somewhere around age 10. Awaken, Force.  

·      Do some lunges, or squats or something the cool kids are doing. Once a month? That’s reasonable.

·      Teach a meaningful class. Give the students more than an essay format.

·      Love my husband, and be grateful for the person he is.

·      Love my kids, and all that they love.

New Years Eve was a little different for us this year. We did not get dressed up. We did not go to a party. We did not stay up till midnight. We spent the morning going through Grandma’s house and packing furniture and pieces of her home to bring back to our own homes.  I’ve been surprised just how much I’ve regularly missed Grandma since June, when she passed away. I miss her letters, her calls, and the the ability to tell her anything that is going on in our life. Driving away from her house, the home Dad grew up in, left me in tears, for I cannot count the number of memories we created there, with my brothers, my parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, the ever-present pack of dogs, and eventually all of our spouses and own kids.

Since her service, something that has stuck – perhaps oddly-  in my mind is her casket. It was a simple pine casket. Not fancy. Not glorious or elaborate. Just plain pine.  I am well aware that Grandma was not perfect by any means. But at her funeral, the priest spoke about the power of her ordinary days, lived in acts of kindness. The simplicity of not huge undertakings, but that our very plain ways of showing we care is what can make a life extraordinary. Which can make a simple pine casket far more beautiful and lovely than any lavish extravagance.  

Grandma is certainly not the only person who lives this way, but she has brought to light the number of people in my life and this world who live giving to others, in the variety of styles and ways that suit them. I’ve realized Grandma’s presence was never overwhelming or loud, bur rather, simply there. The priest was right; what an extraordinary gift that was, one I appreciate more deeply every day.  As this year begins, I hope to be present for others. As a mother, as a wife, as a family member, friend, teacher, advocate.

New Years Eve night…. dressed in not sequins but sweatpants, sleeping in bed beside a kind and loyal man with two healthy girls asleep in their rooms, the warmth of many memories settled in my heart, and the goal of a mindful perspective was not a bad way to bring in 2016.