No-It-All

No.
It happens often.

Lately, conversations with Adalyn tend to go a little like this:

Parent: Addie-Boo, want some grapes with lunch?
Adalyn: No.

Parent: Adalyn, let’s get ready for the market.
Adalyn: No.

Parent: Adalyn, tell Wallie it’s time for a walk.

Adalyn: No [while retrieving leash and high-tailing it to the door].

Whether or not she actually means it, no must be the first response.  It’s a bit funny given that she is only pronouncing bits and pieces of other words, but this… this word is whole, distinct, and undeviating (all two letters of it).  Of course, there are numerous ways and tones in which she gives this answer, variations that suggest a specification on what exactly she means by the word no. For example:

• “Nope” – said quickly and dismissively when parents offer something about which they should know better (i.e. peas, spinach, and other things that would be Really Good for her).
• “No-ooo” – pronounced as though we live in Wisconsin, usually showing polite interest, but still declining. For example, “Adalyn, are you a cow?”
• “NO!” – reserved for public, quiet areas. Typically an absurd and irrational objection. 
• “No-OH-oh-Oh-oh” – singsong, used when she thinks she’s hilarious by refusing, and usually does whatever we asked right after. i.e. clean-up time, bath time, etc. 
• “Nonononononononono” – most vehement response, signaling to parent that she is deeply unhappy and will likely explode in less than 5 seconds. This variation is often used when holding onto something with dear life that we are attempting to “take,” such as the parmesan shaker from the fridge, which she has taken to dumping into bowls and leaving for Wallie around the house.

At times, it’s very funny. At others, Sheaff and I become paranoid that she’s becoming too negative, too no-it-all, too “two.”  Obviously, in the long run, optimism is important for us to teach her.  Listening to adults is important. A good attitude is important. Will she say no forever??? (We realize the answer to this is also, ironically, No, and that Why is looming on the horizon of funny things kids say that can make their parents want to gouge their eyes out.)

So while in this No-torious stage, we came up with a list of things it’s okay to say no to, but also items for which we’d at least like a head-nod.

Adalyn, say no to drugs, even in Colorado. Say no (politely) to telemarketers and the people at the mall selling expensive lotion. Say no to unkind people and boys[1] who honk at the curb instead of getting out to ring the doorbell and meet your parents. Say no to posting pictures you’ll regret on social media and to alcohol mixed with energy drinks. Say no to violence, to stereotyping, to hatred and ignorance. Say no to Best Buy; they’re terrible. Say no to selfies taken in a bathroom mirror. Say no to tanning beds. Your dad says to say no to softball; it’s too long for us.  Say no to parties without adults, or more importantly, parties with adults who are trying to relive their teenage years. Say no to Fox News. Say no to techno music, no to texting while driving, no to soda, no to anything that takes your energy, your spark, your heart.

And you will find, my darling stubborn, hard-headed, hilariously no-tastic child, that Yes is much more fun. In saying no to the right things, you will find that there are so many wonderful things to which you can say yes.

Say yes to books, yes to trails and views from on top of a mountain, yes to projects you dream up. Say yes to riding waves, yes to yellow curtains, yes to gardens, yes to buying local. Say yes to travel, to airplanes and trains, to paper atlases, new foods and new friends.  Say yes to packing your lunch and clipping coupons so you can afford that travel. Say yes to tackiness at Christmas time and being kind to strangers and your friends and your family. Say yes to color-coded planners and dorky habits. Say yes to Outlander and Jon Stewart and Muppet Treasure Island. Say yes to chocolate and breakfast-for-dinner-nights and dance parties in the living room. Say yes to traditions, yes to good music, yes to that scared, small dog in the back of the pound.  Say yes to sports, or theater, or music, or whatever gets you going; say yes to challenging jobs and new opportunities.  Say yes to acceptance, yes to diversity, yes to equality, yes to love. Say yes to imagining, yes to adventures, yes to dreaming, and yes to magic. Because my dear, that is where life is waiting for you.

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[1] Or girls; we are equal opportunity here.