Sheaff-Isms

They say that laughter is one of the most important aspects of any marriage and parenthood, and I would agree.  Fortunately, I’m married to Sheaff.  Now, he is a man of many talents.  Some include cooking without measuring cups or recipes or concern for current time (i.e. 5am is sometimes a great time for grilled cheese). Some are enthusiastically reading Mr. Brown Can Moo, speed-diaper-changes, and chasing Adalyn down Kroger aisles.  Others include things like dunking, driving with his knees, purchase research, Adalyn-zorberts, and staying awake for football games (this is a lie).  However, one of his most infamous talents is what our People have dubbed “Sheaff-isms,” or the art of accidentally combining various phrases and sayings into one that makes very little, if any, sense. And frankly…. They work like a glove.

As requested by many people, many times, here is a list of many of the [internet appropriate] recorded Sheaff-isms, and your lolz for the day.

“I’d say I march to the toot of my own horn.”

“He moved there on a limb.”

“Don’t tussle her feathers.”

“I just double guess myself on that.”

“Don’t eat my head off.”

“Not to throw myself under the gun…”

“It just took me from aside.”

“I wouldn’t spend so much at Christmas if you’d let me off the collar during the year.“

“I’m on page with you.”

“That’s a long figment of the past.”

“We were driving all around god’s name.”

“Nailed it on the hat.”

“Yeah, that was the boiling over the cooker.”

“I love it when you come around the bush.  Just kidding; I know it’s corner.”

“She came to a Jesus.” [come-to-Jesus-talk]. “And you know what he said? Surprise! I’m God too!”

“When will you start to turn the curve?”

“We are just putting our crawlers out there.”

“He wants his cake and his icing too.”

“I didn’t mean to lead you to the water and not let you have it. Oh, no is it something about a donkey and water? No, camel!”

“Not to step on anyone’s foot…”

“I wasn’t the lone horse.”

“Ew, was he rocking the cradle?”

“Don’t you banter your eyes at me.”

“It’s like watching carrots in a pod.”

“They got the harder end of the stick.” (Yes, that is what she said.)

“Give them a foot, and they take a yard.”

“Six of one, six dozen of another.”

“There’s too many chiefs in the oven.”

“You’re the apple of my pie.”

No honey, you are the apple of mine. Keep the laughs coming. We love ya!