What Not To Say
“Just relax. Don’t think about it” Just relax. I’ve been wanting to write about those two words for a long time. We just got our mid-preggo ultrasound. We were positively giddy that day, not just finding out that Honey’s a girl, but just seeing her face and tangled up limbs and tiny hands waving. I was nearly in tears watching our next daughter. But earlier this month, as the appointment had been approaching, I kept remembering a different ultrasound, when we were having trouble getting pregnant and were getting several tests. At these appointments, I dreaded the waiting rooms, surrounded by women with swollen, full bellies; some burdened by the discomforts; some with the peaceful contented air of being pregnant, all a reminder that I was Not. I remember this particular time, in the exam room in that lovely paper-towel gown, surrounded by posters of babies and ultrasound pictures, sweet white and black and grey blobs, and I felt very empty. I felt helples...